The Lesson in Losing Almost Everything

As you know, back in July we were faced with an unexpected move. What should have been a simple transition, ended up becoming a life shifting experience.  Not only was our move in motion, but at the same time two family reunions were scheduled smack dab in the middle of those last few days. Perfect timing, eh? (:  Moving has never been on my list of favorite things to do and even though I still have a lot to learn about the art of moving prep, I have gotten better over the last few years.

We had already started the purging and organizing process several weeks prior so there would be a lot less to haul around. We decided to put a few larger pieces into storage ahead of time so the smaller pieces could be placed in and around for better space usage. Since I work from home, the studio and smaller items would be moved on the last day to get everything in one shot. All seemed to be in order...or so we thought.

We found the perfect home in just the right spot for our business and at a great price for the location. This little gem of a house had been sitting on the market for several years and the owners thought renting would be better than a cottage sitting empty. They were even open to us enhancing the design of the home and planting gardens. Yes! The dream of our homesteading cottage in this lovely little town was soon to be a reality...but on the day we were to sign the lease the owner had some bad news - He had just received an offer and decided to sell the home. It was an offer they couldn't pass up and so we were on the search again for our new home...2 days before we needed to be out of our apartment! But that wasn't the last of the bad news.

Our apartment complex had a service that would pick up donated items and take them to a local charity. Not only was it convenient, but it was a blessing to have another chance at giving again. Double win! We let them know the charity truck could come by Tuesday and scheduled our move-out date for Monday. We also decided to lessen the stress and stay in a hotel for the weekend so we could have beds in which to lay our weary heads during the family reunion filled weekend (:

Well, sometimes things don't quite happen the way we plan...To make a long story short, come Monday the apartment had been emptied. Somehow the new weekend guy thought the items we left in the apartment were meant to be donated and scheduled a donation pick-up for Saturday. Needless to say Monday was a shocker.

Everything was gone. All of our clothes, shoes, bags, cherished mementoes, decor, curtains, bedding, towels, photos, furniture, jewelry, flat screen TVs, electronics, pots, pans, ALL of my studio items including computer, files, kiln, jewelry tools, drills, torches, silver, gold, gemstones...it was all gone and instantly I was out of business.

We all made attempts to contact the charity to see if some of the items could be reclaimed, but everything had been dispersed over the weekend and shipped out to separate branches. It would be virtually impossible to locate where anything ended up. Apologies were given, but the damage was done. We were left with only the clothes on our backs and a few odds and ends that we had taken to the hotel for the weekend. We were homeless, dazed and exhausted and had no idea our weekend stay in a hotel would end up lasting four months.

I think I was in utter shock for the first few hours and then panic set in...how in the world are we going to replace all of that stuff!!! I can't begin to start over in business yet again! What are we going to do?!! But that panic only lasted for a moment. We had just lost most of our possessions, but this still small voice was saying, "Do you trust me? There's an amazing lesson in this if you choose to see it."

Great...yet another lesson (; We're usually tired, irritated and annoyed when these life shifting moments pop up, aren't we? They appear at the most inconvenient of times, take tons of gumption to move past and are usually moving in the exact opposite direction of where we want to go...hence the learning moment (: I decided to believe this experience happened for a reason and some great epiphany would be gained through it all.

Around this same time several communities had just been devastated by tornadoes. Our situation was quickly put into perspective. Our things were gone, but they were going to support charity. We may have lost most of what we owned, but not everything. We were blessed and I knew it. It's just stuff. We're alive, we have a roof and a bed for the moment and we're safe. Take the next step and move forward...stuff is just stuff and is not the core of why we are here on this earth.

When the stuff we hold to disappears, it makes way for new room to grow. It not only expands our minds, but our vision as well and so we made the choice to trust. For the next many weeks we were on a soul changing learning curve and one we would cherish for months to come.

With Gratitude,

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Encouragement from my Grandmother

My Grandmother Shaw was and still is my heart. She had the gift of great compassion and the uncanny ability to lighten the energy in a room with her very presence. The lessons she offered in love greatly impacted my soul as I watched her choose to see the heart of people no matter how she was being treated. Grandmother embraced life with gusto and could laugh with a passion unlike any I've ever seen!! Oh...and she was an encourager.  She wanted to hear your dreams as well as your heartaches and would stand with you in the middle of wherever you just might be.  She passed away on Christmas Eve of 2008, but her presence is still felt to this day.

I recently posted on Facebook about "Goliath Moments"...times that bring you face to face with a mountain that seems so ominous you’re tempted to shudder.  Mountains are scary, they're big and usually cause a problem for those of us who love unobstructed views of life (:  Mountains define our courage and show us of what we're made.  It's so important that, when you come upon one of these pathway changers, you shake off that fear, stand tall, talk to your mountain so it moves and press forward on the journey.

We've been going through some of those Goliath Moments lately.  And so it was no surprise when during our move, I "just happened" to come across a few of Grandmother's poetry books.  In one of these books I found a few carefully placed post-it notes tagging special poems for later reading. One of the poems hit on the exact topic we were discussing the night before as we continued to pack and move things about. The inspiration was in perfect timing and so greatly needed that day. In true fashion, in her own special way, Grandmother had given an encouraging nudge of hope from heaven to let us know that she was standing with us. Notice the mention of moving mountains...

"Climb 'Til Your Dreams Come True" by Helen Steiner Rice

Often your tasks will be many,

And more than you think you can do...

Often the road will be rugged

and the hills insurmountable, too...

But always remember,the hills ahead

Are never as steep as they seem,

And with Faith in your heart upward,

And climb 'til you reach your dream,

For nothing in life that is worthy

Is ever too hard to achieve

If you have the courage to try it

And you have the Faith to believe...

For Faith is a force that is greater

Than knowledge or power or skill

And many defeats turn to triumph

If you trust in God's wisdom and will...

For Faith is a mover of mountains,

There's nothing that God cannot do,

So start your today with Faith with in your heart

And "Climb 'Til Your Dreams Come True!"

"...If thou can believe, all things are possible to him that believes"

~ Mark 9:23

Thank you, Grandmother, for your encouragement and love (:

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The Curveballs of Life

curve•ball  /’kərv,bôl/
Noun: A ball that is pitched with a snap of the wrist and a strong downward spin, which causes the ball to drop suddenly and deceptively veer away from home plate.

That last part of the definition is most interesting to me...”a downward spin which causes the ball to suddenly and deceptively veer away from home plate.” You think life is headed in one direction and then with the snap of change you suddenly feel like you’re veering away from home.

Change...it's a little bit of a double edged sword for me. On the one hand I find change exciting. A new challenging adventure on the horizon of life just waiting to burst forth with amazing possibilities. But then at the same time I don't like it, sometimes dread it and just downright don't want it to happen. Yes. I'm a complex kinda gal (:

We've had lots of change over the last few years and honestly, sometimes that feeling of giving up just wants to take over. Change in relationships, change in work, the passing of loved ones, a change in life focus, a week ago the passing of my beloved dachshund Reba at the ripe old age of 19 and now an unexpected move in the next couple of weeks for which we are financially unprepared. My, my, my...

Change...yuck. But instead of focusing on the yucky side of this coin, I’ve decided to flip it over and look on these moments in life like surprise parties...you enter the room startled and bewildered, scream your guts out in horror and then once you realize your life isn't in jeopardy (: you acclimate and party on!

The whole essence of life is about change isn't it? Things grow in the spring and wither away in the winter...a cycle that must happen for new growth to come back the following season. Nothing really stays the same, other than an awe inspiring heavenly Father who gently carries us when we experience these curveballs of life. It's up to us to let go and enjoy the ride instead of fighting against the currents.

And so I’m embracing this new phase as an adventure...a magical curveball adventure of soul changing elation. I don't know where we're going, don't know how we're going to get there, nor do I know how we are going to financially pull this off, but I do know that God already has a plan in action and is lovingly guiding our steps (:

So, when you experience those curveballs of life, what advice do you have for those who are going through it right now? What gets you through? What focus propels you forward? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

“You are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way.” ~ Psalm 23:4

Abundance During Tough Times

Tough times...it seems to be a common thread in many of our discussions today.  Topics of job loss, cut wages, lay-offs and downsizing can be a pattern interrupt to the concept of the daily grind.  If you've ever experienced any of these life altering events, the daily grind doesn't seem so bad, eh?  Everything in perspective (:

We all know leaner times are at hand for many of us...it happens.  When the tide rolls in, it must also roll back out to the sea.  Nothing ever stays the same, which is a good thing.  It gives us the opportunity to discover hidden treasures left behind by the constant movement of waves as they crash the shores of life over and over again.  We have just gone through this ebb and flow period ourselves and find our income reduced by 75%.  The "old me" would have panicked at the thought of such a thing, especially during Christmas, but the "wiser me" has been filled with thoughts of abundance.

Now, I have to be honest...my first response was a bit in the realm of frazzled nerves, but it soon gave way to comfort in the hands of a loving God who knows our every need.  He's taken care of us so far...why would He drop the ball now?  (:

This journey of simplicity over the last year has been a great teacher.  Being thankful for the many blessings already present, learning how to prepare a whole foods pantry, reducing debt and expenses, making things instead of rushing out to purchase new items, buying used and saving the difference, repairing instead of tossing, creating handmade treasures, cherishing time spent at home, streamlining products to make sure they pull double-duty, appreciating the art of frugality, letting go of things to honor what really matters, getting rid of clutter to make room for new ideas and possibilities...all of these things have created such an air of abundance that lack can't even enter the space (:

So if you find yourself in tough times, take heart and know that many of us are traveling right beside you on this journey.  It might seem as if your world is crashing in around you, but just put one foot in front of the other and move forward no matter how devastating it may feel.  Keep your eyes open because possibilities abound to those who think outside of the box.  Don't allow your current circumstances to overwhelm the blessings that are waiting to be discovered.  When we operate in thankfulness and have gratitude in our hearts, it opens the door to abundance.

This Christmas will be a simple one, but isn't that really the way Christmas should be celebrated?  Sad to say these days the focus tends to be on the gifts, food and fun times instead of abundant thankfulness for the greatest gift of all...Jesus.  Over the next two weeks I'll bring you into our home to show how we're choosing to celebrate this year...decorating, gift giving, organizing, etc.  Hopefully our simple, frugal Christmas will inspire and encourage others to seek out a different way of embracing the holidays...a way that allows abundance to shine forth, even in tough times (:

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Great Fall Gift Idea for Neighbors

One of the things I miss about living in a house is the consistency of neighbors. Apartment living, at least in our area, can be very transitional. You may have neighbors for a couple of years, but they move out and new ones are on the way! It makes it harder to get to know those who share your walls. So as a way to connect and break down the barriers, we like to leave little seasonal "Thinking of You" gifts on our neighbors' doorsteps. For the fall season small pumpkins make an appearance. They can be used for Halloween and then flow right into Thanksgiving...frugal, and versatile all in one (:

We purchased the pumpkins this year from my church's yearly pumpkin patch (the money goes to support missions) and they only cost $.75 if I remember correctly....a frugal gift that keeps on giving. To create the cards I simply found a design online that felt like fall, added "Tis the Season..." on the front of the cards and included a little message on the inside, then printed them out on cardstock.

The cards were simply tied onto the pumpkins with coordinating ribbon and voilà! Instant cute (: They also make wonderful place card holders that add tablescape interest during times of celebration and can be something for your guests to take home to remember the event.

So if you're looking for ways to reach out to neighbors and aren't quite sure what to do...leave a little "Thinking of You" gift and see what doors it will open (:

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Linking to: My Romantic Home, The Shabby Nest, Remodelaholic, Finding Fabulous, Just a Girl, Fingerprints on the Fridge, Chic on a Shoestring Decorating, Frou Frou Decor, Fun to Craft, Funky Junk Interiors, Tatertots and Jello, Craft Envy, Be Different Act Normal, 30 Handmade Days, It's a Hodgepodge Life, Pumpkin Seed Productions, Frugal and Fabulous Design, Sassy Sites, Momma's Kindacrafty

What to do when you life vision falls flat Part 2

I don't know what it is, but the moon gives clarity for the soul. My post from yesterday was unfinished and no matter how many times the thing was tweaked, it still wasn't coming together (: So I thought I'd let it sit for a day and come back. A walk in the moonlight and encouragement from lovely friends who left comments helped to bring things together. I asked a couple of questions..."Ever have your life planned out only for things to take a totally different direction? Did you have a vision of how things would unfold and now life is not playing nice with the dream?"

Actually, I'm in the middle of this wonderful dichotomy...yes, I said wonderful even though this past week hasn't felt so wonderful. The vision for my life was to go to college, find my soulmate, graduate, get married, find a great job, buy a cute cottage, have kids and face the challenges of life as a family. Well, that hasn't happened.

At the time I was okay with it because the focus was taking care of Grandmother. But when you turn 40, begin to evaluate things and see everyone else moving on while you're still at the starting gate, the sadness can be overwhelming...especially when it comes to having children. It's even harder when siblings and cousins begin to breach that realm and you watch as their families grow. Don't get me wrong. The opportunities have been there, but each time God said, "No, not yet. Wait." {Sigh}

Now almost half way through my one year challenge, those feelings have come back with a vengeance. "Why God? Why am I still waiting? Why am I having to take the long path while everyone else around me seems to have the life of which I've always dreamed? You do realize, God, that if I wait much longer the possibility of having children dwindles." (: But just as He has asked in the past, "Be happy for the blessings of others and celebrate their joys even in the midst of your own pain. Your time will come soon enough." {BIG Sigh}

So, what's the plan here? To be honest...I have no idea. God is an out-of-the-box kinda guy and on the surface things may not make sense, but He's guiding my every step. This may sound odd, but through all the mourning over a life of unexpected twists and turns, I'm more confident and content than ever before. During this time my faith has grown by leaps and bounds. God has drawn me closer to Him, allowed the healing of old wounds and opened new doors that were never thought possible.

You see, when we let go of our vision and open ourselves to God's vision, a design greater than we could ever imagine will come forth. We might have lost a loved one, a marriage might have crumbled, the scholarship for school might not have come through, the baby we were expecting might have been lost, the cancer that was once gone might have back or maybe the job we've had for 15 years is no longer there...life is full of things that throw us for a loop and make us question the meaning of it all. There will be times of questioning and frustration.

I've been there this week, but I've asked for a life bigger than my hands could design...the life that God has always wanted for me. With that comes a lot of work on my part plus the willingness to let go of the old vision of yesterday.

I've accepted the long, narrow path and can see where I'm headed, I just don't like where I am at the moment. It's the dreaded "in-betweens." That place that feels like perpetual limbo when we've left the old life behind and we're half way to the new. We can see the possibilities, hopes and dreams taking shape right on the horizon, but the journey through this leg of the path is not yet finished and there's still more climbing to do.

So, if you find yourself in the in-betweens here are some tips that have helped me:

1. Spend time in prayer each day. Meditate and connect with the One who is working on your behalf behind the scenes.


2. Love yourself. Okay, I know this one sounds corny, but you have to appreciate the beauty of you! You are in the world for a purpose and it wouldn't be the same without you! Honor yourself by nurturing the lovely person you are. It will allow you, in turn, to love others more deeply.


3. Focus on the blessings you've already encountered. What is going right in your life? Make a list and review it each day.


4. Reach out to help others. There's nothing better for the soul than helping those in need.


5. Gather a circle of close friends. Share your heart with those who love and care about you. On those days when you feel weak, they can be of great counsel and support.


6. Memorize scripture that is specific to your situation. Quote it as you go about your day. You'll be surprised by the energy and lift it gives.


7. Do something fun. It doesn't matter what it is, just do something that makes you smile. The sillier the better (:


8. Just let go. You need to embrace the sadness that you might be experiencing, but don't let it overpower your spirit. Take the time you need to grieve (it's different for everyone) and then move forward. Let go of how things used to be and look towards the possibilities.


9. Set goals. Set some short and long term goals that keep you moving forward. It could be one thing a week or maybe even one thing a month. Just do something.


10. Practice forgiveness. To live in a world filled with people means to live with the possibility that you will be hurt. By forgiving those that hurt us, it opens the heart to love. Forgiving doesn't mean that what has happened is okay and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong, it just means that we allow healing to come into the mix which brings a peace that can help us move forward.

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Fathers and Daughters

This will be my second Father's Day without Dad. He died quite unexpectedly, but the healing he offered our family will last a lifetime. You see, we didn't have the best relationship. Like many fathers, the scars from his past created a wounded spirit that prevented him from connecting with his family. As a result, he struggled with depression for most of his life.

Dad could be very hard, emotionally abusive at times and the depression he faced brought an all-consuming darkness that could strike at any moment without warning. No one knew the kind of chaos we experienced because Dad's best was always given to those outside of our home. It wasn't intentional, he just had nothing left to offer by the end of the day.

As a little girl I so badly wanted the acceptance of my father. This challenging relationship shaped the view of myself, the kind of man to which I was attracted and brought an insecurity that I sometimes still battle today. There were moments when distance was needed because Dad could consume every moment if allowed, but Mom and Grandmother always encouraged us to have an open place in our hearts for him.

I'm so glad I did. After much work on my own heart, I was able to look past the pain of all those years to see the good things he offered. He was a creative spirit, humble, loved to serve those in need, offered excellence in his work, enjoyed reading and the arts, made you laugh with his dry sense of humor, loved to build things, had a heart for the elderly, was a Biblical scholar, found solace in nature, could let out a chuckle that would bring an instant smile to anyone's face (: and he loved his grandchildren with his whole heart. Once I focused on all of the beautiful things, the negative faded away and the healing began.

In my 30's Dad and I were able to get to know each other all over again. We had long talks about the past, his history, our family and he was open like never before. I felt safe to share my life with him again and our journey was set in motion. The change was wonderful! He encouraged my entrepreneurial efforts, continually told me how proud he was of me and reached out to get to know my world. We lived a state away so phone calls were shared everyday...sometimes even watched TV shows together. We would call when a favorite was on and experienced the show together over the phone wires (:

During the last months of his life the openness and thankfulness was amazing. I'll never forget the day he called me his angel...the power in that simple statement was more than I even realized. It was as if the gravity of those words smothered all the anger, hurt and sadness from the years before. I finally had the father my heart had longed for all these years.

And so now when I think of Dad, I remember the love he shared, the blessings he gave and the healing he offered. My life will never be the same. So if the relationship with your father isn't what you needed or even wanted, there is hope. Never give up because things can change. Just open your heart, reach out in love and let God intervene. He can heal the places you thought were closed off forever.

This doesn't always mean the relationship is restored because not every father is able to make that step...sometimes you stand alone with your heart in God's hands and have faith that He can take the ashes of what was lost and make you whole again.

"And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers." Malachi 4:6

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The Art of Gracious Living

Recently I read the most wonderful post about being gracious over at Muthering Heights. It was written by Myra from My Blessed Life and she listed several characteristics that encompass gracious living to her.

It got me to thinking...am I gracious? Sometimes, but many times...not so much. As a younger child I never said anything, never expressed my opinion and just went along with the crowd, except on those occasions when an underdog needed defending. That warrior spirit of protecting the vulnerable was there even at a young age. Fighting for myself, on the other hand, was a different story.

Then in my teens and 20's a more opinionated Michele came to the surface. For so many years I didn't have the confidence to express my thoughts or ideas, but when I got started...whew! Watch out!!

In my 30's I learned there was a time to say something and a time to listen, but that warrior state of defending the defenseless still got the better of me. Now that 40 has hit I can see the art in the balance. It's not my job to fight all the battles of an unjust world. There are times to speak and times to listen, but most of all life is just about waiting on God's cue to step into the task He has for you. To do otherwise is foolish.

So in the meantime I'm learning to embrace the keys of gracious living...Nourish your spirit, love the unlovely, offer friendship and hospitality each day, pursue your dreams, do everything with your whole heart, let men be chivalrous, let children be children and encourage others with a smile and kind word no matter how you're being treated.

My Grandmother showed this graciousness. This woman of honor and gentility expressed love at every opportunity. Many times she stood alone and was mistreated greatly, but she never had a negative or unkind word to say about anyone. She simply embraced their good qualities, appreciated what they brought to the table and offered love.

When we reach out with graciousness it puts others at ease and allows them to be themselves. We aren't perfect and there are days when each of us can be a raving lunatic, but graciousness gives the gift of perspective. Maybe someone in your life is having a hard time and their best behavior isn't quite coming out at the moment (: Offering graciousness instead of judgement brings love in the mix and healing to boot!

So give it a shot and see how the art of gracious living can impact your world. Then come back and share some of the ways it made a difference. I'd love hear your thoughts (:

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Sometimes It's Just About Staying the Course

It's been a while since a weekly update has been posted and the thought of amending that little decision is being considered. Each post is actually an update in itself and a weekly summary seems redundant. This year is about learning and experiencing things in a new way and sometimes that means changing the game plan (: The idea was to post the exciting things that were taking place each week so I could see my progress, but some weeks aren't so exciting.

A new journey can be filled with peaks and valleys, twists and turns, but sometimes the path can just be straight and narrow. You can see your next destination straight ahead, but it's a long stretch of path and there's LOTS of hard work along the way.

The last several weeks have been a little crazy. I was accepted as a contributing columnist to Blissfully Domestic, I'm preparing for the She Speaks Conference, making plans to revamp this blog, decided to take my diaper cake shop Simply Baby Cakes back online, and will reopen Natural esSCENTials in the next few weeks. Whew!

So much of the hard work done in previous months is now taking shape, but all at the same time! I know where I'm headed, but just trying to make sure the blessings aren't missed because of the busyness. One of the saving graces has been organization. My studio is finally coming together and it's been wonderful to have a place solely for work. That way the door can be closed when a much needed break is in order.

I was hoping to splash fresh new paint on the walls first, but will reserve that project for another day. Getting worksurfaces and whiteboards in place helped to move other projects along faster and painting would have slowed things down (: I'll take some photos and post the studio makeover updates this week.

So, if you find yourself on the straight and narrow path of your journey, just be thankful you know where you're headed. The work may be hard, the distance may be long and tiring, but it's better than being lost in the woods (:

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Storms

This evening we had the most magical thunder storm we've had in a while! Flashing beams of light darting across the sky, casting shadows all around. Then the clouds opened up, offering a downpour of nature's tears. I love storms. There's something so cathartic about watching the chaos of whipping wind, electric beams and heavy rain drops from the security of home.

It reminds me of the uncertainty of life and the storms we each face. If we look at the storms while we're standing in the rain, we're sure to be hit by lightening. But if we surround ourselves in the home of God, those storms become something mystical...the fear turns into wonder. We begin to look at the mysteriousness of what is taking place and begin to see the beauty in it.

Something that has the potential to be terrifying is transformed into a deeper moment of depending on God and we're able to see what's happening in a different light. Instead of running to find cover, we stand in awe of the power before us. We appreciate the rain that waters the land, wait with excitement for the next flash of light to show and count the seconds until we hear the boom of thunder.

I love to light a few candles in the fireplace, turn off all the lights and watch the light show from the safety of home. So the next time you find yourself in a storm, take a deep breath, find a home in the safety of God's arms, light some candles and watch the show with different eyes. You have nothing to fear. Just know that the storm will pass soon enough and you'll come away with a greater knowing of yourself and your God.

"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." ~ Psalm 18:2

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The 2010 She Speaks Conference

In the last couple of posts I mentioned how God has been sending me on yet another surprising journey. This year has been about moving dreams off the back burner, getting back to basics and listening to the still small voice that wants to guide me to my full potential. Well, when you ask for something, get ready!

For the past several years I've felt God calling my heart to write. So many titles and ideas seemed to leap from the quiet corners of my mind, but I had no idea where to begin. I decided to keep a journal of sorts to log the thoughts when they would appear and assumed this would be a life work that would take form 10 or 20 years later down the road. You see, I'm not a writer. English was not my major in college and I'm grammatically challenged on most days (:

But over the last few months three books have taken shape with such force that the possibility of releasing them into the world has now gotten my attention. I contacted a friend who is a writer and she suggested attending the She Speaks Conference - She Speaks is a life-changing conference for women seeking to explore the tug on their hearts to reach out to the world for Jesus. Hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries for the past nine years, She Speaks encourages and equips women as they communicate God's Word through writing, speaking and leadership.

I hopped over to the site to see when the 2010 conference might be and it just so "happens" to fall on July 30 - August 1. Not only that, but it's being held only 25 miles away from my home! With funds low and wondering how God is going to bring this around, one of the ladies working with the convention suggested raising scholarship funds.

Each year many of the women who attend do so by raising their own scholarships, whether partially or in full. Some post info on their blogs and facebook while others reach out to their church family and community. The testimonies are amazing of how God provides.

And so I'm stepping out in faith yet again. God has placed a calling on my heart to attend She Speaks in 2010 and I trust He will financially provide a way to go. Would you prayerfully consider partnering with me through a financial contribution towards a scholarship that will allow me to attend?

As you feel led to join in this exciting call, there are two ways to participate. You can call Proverbs 31 Ministries at 877-731-4663 to contribute or send a check payable to Proverbs 31 Ministries to:

Proverbs 31 Ministries
She Speaks Scholarship/Michele Yates
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill RoadMatthews, NC 28105

Please be sure to designate the scholarship in my name (Michele Yates) in order to credit my scholarship fund. You will be receipted for your tax-deductible donation. Visit the She Speaks site for more information. I appreciate your thoughtfulness so much and could not do this without you being a very important part.

"She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue." Proverbs 31:26



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Let Your Freak Flag Fly!

A lot has been going on within the last couple of weeks and a small break was in order. No, it's not a move, but a shift in focus again. I'll go into more detail about this later, but today is about reflection on being who we are. How many of us are being the person we feel we SHOULD BE instead of being the person we truly ARE?

As a small child I had an uncle who made a great impact on my way of thinking. Not one that I realized until just recently, but affective nonetheless. This came as quite a shock since we live on separate coasts and really don't get to see each other that much. He's a scientist and just about as book smart as you can get. Ignorance isn't tolerated and those who are scholastically challenged are looked on as being questionable.

My parents did not share this view and taught us that all are valuable no matter the "status of their minds" or the degrees they hold, but for some reason this uncle's philosophy stuck. I suppose it was because this view was so foreign to my realm of understanding and after all...this guy was smart and surely he knew what he was talking about. I remember questioning my validity since there was so much I didn't know at the time.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago...New opportunities have come my way, but old thoughts from long ago kept popping up. "I don't know enough. I don't have a degree in that. I'm not in the industry, how can I possibly do that? And, did I mention this - I don't know enough." And there it was. The thought that unless I have a specific degree or credentials of letters tucked in behind my name, then I don't have anything of worth to contribute.

Now, to my uncle's credit, this is nothing he said specifically. He's a very kind man of many talents and embraces life more than most. You have to remember that this notion of what my uncle believe was taken in by a child processing the world as she knew it. It's so strange how these untrue thoughts can linger until they are challenged.

So the last couple of weeks have been spent just having gratitude for who I am. I'm not perfect by any means, have challenges just like anyone else, can be as stubborn as a mule at times and once in a while speak before thinking, but I was born with gifts and God intends on my using them (:

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him." 1 Corintians 1:26-29

Oh, but this little annoying voice from my past was creeping in and causing doubt, so a decision was made to let my freak flag fly (: I am perfect just the way I am, warts and all. I may not be where I WANT to be, but I am exactly where I NEED to be at this moment.

Every day offers a new opportunity to embrace the divine that is in each of us. We are all special and offer something unique to this world. Our stories can inspire others who may be facing the same journey. We don't have to know everything, we just have to be brave enough to share what we do know.

So today reach out and let your freak flag fly! Embrace who you are, not who you think you should be. Offer a gift of gratitude to yourself because when you allow the light of who you are to shine, it warms those around you.

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Pressing On...

I find God sending me down a new path, just when I was getting used to the old one. I've often struggled with starting and stopping projects. Sometimes it feels like it can take ages for me to get going and then heaven forbid anything interrupt that process because who knows how long it'll take to get started up again (: Is anyone else like this?

One of the things that seems to be up for change is a place to live. I've posted before about the desire to live in a smaller town down the road. As a matter of fact I had the opportunity to move there about three years ago. The cost was more than my current place, but felt God was asking me to take a step of faith and put down the first month's rent and deposit. Even though it was exactly where I wanted to be, the move didn't make sense at the time.

It was the perfect location, had beautiful curb appeal, a lovely fenced in yard for the dogs and just the right space for a garden. Even though it was small, it felt like home and was oh, so peaceful. So I prayed long and hard. The answer?...take the check by. Step out in faith...stretch.

As I drove to meet the owner at the local coffee shop to pick up the keys, a song came on the radio by Superchick called "Stand in the Rain." One of the lines of the song says...

"Alone in this fight with herself
And the fears whispering
If she stands, she'll fall down."

Oh! Exactly what I was experiencing! The entire drive, there was this nasty fight of thoughts playing in my head. "You won't be able to move here! It's not for you! You won't be able to afford this! It might be your dream, but it's out of your reach! Don't even entertain the possibility!"

Oh...something as simple as a move turned into a trip down doubt lane. But then the chorus started...

"So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain"

So with tear drenched cheeks I dropped off the check and picked up the keys. An almost immediate sense of peace came over me and I knew the right decision was made. The next day my Dad was in town so I asked if he'd like to go by and and take a look at the new place. Dad could sometimes operate on the negative side of things, but this day was different.

He was present in the moment and the glow of excitement on his face when we entered the front door was anything short of beaming! He loved it! We went through each room discussing where things might go and how the layout was perfect for entertaining. He even offered to help me move! This was quite the miracle so I knew his approval was genuine (:

To make a long story short, for whatever reason, the deal fell through. I was devastated! But I had prayed! I asked God and He said to move forward...what the heck was this? After much prayer I grew to realize it wasn't about the move, it was about stepping out in faith and growing my dependence upon Him.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I drove by this same townhouse and noticed a cleaning crew. All the windows were up, bushes and trees had been trimmed and the renter had moved out! Was it available? Could this be true? My heart skipped a beat! I didn't see a sign. Could I dare go there again and think the possibility of a move was in the near future?

See, I pass by this place quite often and each time it brings back the memories of my Dad's visit. He passed away eight months after our tour and that time we shared together still means the world to me. So to be able to move into the very place where my father walked with me would be awesome!

I decided to put the thought out of my head and continue on to my intended destination. While pulling into the parking lot of the store a song came on the radio. You guessed it! "Stand in the Rain." The line of the chorus that stood out this time was, "And one day, what's lost can be found." Geez!! Okay God! What in the world!

Much like before, now is not a good time to move. I just started some new projects, am in the middle of painting and redecorating several rooms, plus the funds needed for such a task are low, not to mention my work world being in limbo. I found myself putting things on hold. Should I really do all this stuff if I'm going to move anyway? Why bother continuing if I'm not going to be here in a few months?

And then it hit me...I don't have to know all the details. I don't have to worry about missing an opportunity to move to this place. If it's meant for me, then God will take care of things behind the scenes. If a move is in the future then the funds will be available. If this town is meant to be my home soon, then my projects will fall into place. I do not have to worry. I don't have to try and control all the works in play. He's got it (:

Even though this home seems to be the perfect place, God knows what I need. He knows my heart and I feel safe in His arms. So, as I wait on His word, I press on and continue to work on projects, paint, organize...and be (:

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life"
~ Matthew 6:27



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Ah...Mothers

Mother's Day...a time when we pull back to really focus on Mom and the legacy she offers. I wanted to share a little bit about the lovely ladies in my life and the blessings they have so greatly given.

I have the pleasure of sharing living quarters with mine and even though our space can get pretty small, pretty fast, we're doing just fine. The picture above reminds me of the many talks and times shared enjoying God's beautiful nature.

Mom and I moved in together many years ago to ease the financial challenge of caring for my Grandmother. What was a necessity at the time, turned into a huge blessing later down the road. You see, Mom and I have always had this up and down relationship. I don't even want to mention the teenage years! She handed down "The Mother's Curse" long ago..."I hope you have a daughter just like you some day...then you'll understand." My word! I hope that one passes me by! We love each other, but can drive each other crazy in the same breath. I suppose it's like that with all Moms and Daughters.

Years later Grandmother moved in and joined our household of merriment after being unable to live on her own. Now, for three head strong and independent women, this was no easy task. Mom and I experienced our own moments of butting heads because she has one way of doing things and I have another...and now an additional woman with the same stubborn streak was entering the space. Oh my!

But something magical happened while these three generations of women were living under the same roof. Grandmother and I talked like we had never talked before. She began to share things never touched in the past. It gave me an awesome view through the window of her eyes and I began to see both my Mother and Grandmother for the women they were...flawed, beautiful, inspiring strong women who made good choices as well as bad ones just like everyone else. I took notice of the legacy offered by each one...the many, many lessons to be learned from their walk down life's pathway.

Grandmother had the uncanny ability to lighten the very energy of a room with her presence. She saw the heart of people and loved others no matter how she was treated. She embraced life with gusto and could laugh with a passion like I've never seen!! Grandmother had the best sense of humor and wasn't afraid to show it! If you didn't have a good belly laugh at least once every other day around her, you weren't paying attention! She lived with grace, honor, courage and love.

Mom is just like Grandmother in so many ways. That same energy of love and grace abounds and you feel warmer just sharing the same space! I feel so lucky to have the Mom I do...she's an open book, not afraid to admit her mistakes, loves to make the simple, everyday things special and cares for others with an unconditional love that could only compare to the saints (: She's also a hoot to hang around! Don't get us out in public when we're tired, because the laughter at absolutely nothing won't stop until one of us falls over!

Yes, she's fun and wild and I've been so blessed to spend the last few years really getting to know her.So as this special time of Mother's Day approaches, I thank these beautiful, strong women for loving me, supporting me, inspiring me, guiding me, for being the incredible women that they are and for being my best friends!!



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Daily Hiking

Getting out and being in the great outdoors each day has really transformed how I feel and increased productivity. Not to mention getting the exercise this body has so desperately needed for the last few years (:

The photo above is a shot taken at the beginning of the route. It really is lovely! It seems like nature is putting on the best show yet! The greens seems greener, the flower colors seem richer, and the landscape is playing a symphony that could only compare to the work of Vivaldi.

Each week I've been adding distance to the walk. Today was surprisingly easy...possibly because the focus was on the beauty around me or perhaps the company (: This field of purple haze greeted us as we switched to the other side of the road for our return home. I'm so lucky to have access to such loveliness (:

And the pièce de résistance?

What more could have been given as my journey for the day came to a close? Can't think of a better way to end the walk home (:

"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!" ~ Psalm 8:3-9



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Week Thirteen Update

Oh my goodness! Another week has flown by...Can't believe it's Friday and I'm just now posting my Week Thirteen Update! I'll get back in the swing of things soon (:

Last week and a good part of this week has been learning about confidence and boundaries. The one thing I love about getting older is the sense of confidence that grows each year. I'm stronger, more self assured, and darn right impressed with myself. Okay...not in the narcissistic, egotistical fashion, but I can look myself in the mirror and like what I see. There are bumps and bruises from the ride, but the journey has added a nice patina to the soul. Past experiences, good and bad, have allowed me to see beauty in the everyday simplicities and peace abounds.

Boundaries...ah, now that's a different story. See, I'm a giver and a warrior when comes to helping others. Always have been. I spot a need and want to fill it. Someone is being wronged and I want to defend them. The trouble with that is sometimes people need to help themselves or maybe someone else has been called to fill that need. Just because I see it doesn't mean I must take action instantly.

I have a couple of people in my life whom I love dearly, but they don't quite see how their actions affect others around them...aren't we all like this at one time or another? Now, these two have greatly hurt someone close to my heart, someone who is also a giver, and it's hard to sit back and say nothing. But sometimes that's exactly what we should do.

In my warrior state of mind, "If I just explain how their behavior is hurting others around them, surely they will see!! They just don't realize what they're doing." But attempts have been made in the past with little change to follow...only annoyance expressed that anything was addressed with no discussion of the situation's validity...just sweep it under the rug and act as if nothing happened. It's even harder when family is involved.

I'm learning that silence is sometimes more powerful than a voice. There are times when your voice must be heard and be heard loudly, but so many times it's the quiet silence that wins the battle. In the silence we hear the guidance of that inner voice leading us to the next step, the next task or the next response. When we step back in silence we can also weed through the chatter of distraction. Is this my battle to fight? Do I step forward now, or maybe later? Most of the time it has nothing to do with the other people in our lives, but how we respond to them. I can choose grace and mercy or anger and hate. How would I want someone to respond to me?

And so my inner warrior is learning about boundaries. Boundaries aren't limits on connecting with others, but safety zones set up to keep us healthy and whole. They give us balance and the space to see what's ahead and respond accordingly. Setting up boundaries and learning how to say no has been so freeing!! (: It's helped me to encourage/honor others and myself as well.

"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing."
~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11



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Week Twelve Update - I'm Back!!!

Well, after almost 4 weeks I'm back!! I still have more healing to do, but am able to type and use my hands again so I am blessed!! Thank you so much for all of the notes and emails of encouragement. They helped more than you'll ever know (:

This past month has been another time set apart and an interesting journey, one that has brought health as the only focus.

I'm a stress/emotional eater. Always have been. Being the caregiver of an adult family member can take a toll if you don't have a support system. Going from caring for Grandmother for 10 years, then Dad and next Mom after Dad's passing...let's just say emotional eating kicked in big time! Over the years I put on a huge amount of weight!!

After Dad died I knew it was time to make a change, but wasn't ready to totally commit to a clean diet. I have wheat and dairy sensitivities so eating gluten free and raw/organic milk and cheeses is the only way to go.

Even though many changes have been made on this simplifying journey, a clean diet has been one of the areas I was putting off. I was eating lots of sugar, wheat, cheese, milk - most of it conventional and by March 7th my body had had enough!!
Both of my hands became swollen three times their normal size, my eyes were almost swollen shut and my lips looked like a collagen injection gone wrong (: Slight movements would cause the skin to crack and bleed...not a fun experience. The pain was almost unbearable at times, but God had a plan...

As I posted, the first week of March most of my time was spent going through paper clutter that had been sitting in bins and boxes for years. This was am emotional process. My system was already out of balance due to the foods consumed and the emotional stress of finally dealing with the clutter sent my body over the edge. I know the mind, body, spirit connection is very powerful, but this experience has shown me how toxic negative thoughts and memories can be if we don't deal with them and learn new ways of processing.

I quickly made a change in diet, eating only vegetables and meat for the first three weeks and took the appropriate cocktail of herbal supplements to help the healing process. After three weeks I added in low sugar fruits. For the first two weeks I could do nothing but take vinegar baths, recite healing scripture over and over and pray. You begin to appreciate the simple things...taking a bath without it causing pain...the simple act of washing your hair...being able to use a fork to eat...going for a walk outside to get fresh air...petting the pups...these things become precious when they disappear.
Most of the journey was about keeping positive and knowing that God was working to heal me. I had to quit looking at the painful cracked and bleeding skin and focused on the internal healing that was taking place. By the end of the second week I was able to use my hands to hold a book and immediately began reading "Who Switched Off My Brain? Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions" by Dr. Caroline Leaf. AMAZING book!! A MUST read. She helps you...

• Learn how toxic thoughts are like poison and how to identify “The Dirty Dozen,” twelve areas of toxic thinking in our lives.
• Sweep away “The Dirty Dozen” by breaking the cycle of toxic thinking.
• Uncover how your thoughts can actually start to improve every area of your life – your relationships, your health and even your success.

87% to 95% of the illnesses that plague us today are a direct result of our thought life. What we think about affects us physically and emotionally. Through an uncontrolled thought life, we create the conditions for illness and we make ourselves sick!
Research shows that fear, all on its own, triggers more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses and activates more than 30 different hormones. There are INTELLECTUAL and MEDICAL reasons to FORGIVE! Toxic waste generated by toxic thoughts causes the following illnesses: diabetes, cancer, asthma, skin problems and allergies to name just a few.

Medical research increasingly points to the fact that thinking and consciously controlling your thought life is one of the best ways, if not the best way of detoxing your brain. It allows you to get rid of those toxic thoughts and emotions that can consume and control your mind.

So God got my attention and FAST!! Isn't that usually how it happens? We put off the things we know we should do until they become so horrible that they DEMAND our attention. Because of this clean way of eating I've lost 21 pounds in three weeks, removed all sugar and wheat from my diet and only fresh veggies, low sugar fruits, a few nuts, healthy oils (coconut, olive and flaxseed) and meats free of antibiotics and hormones remain.

After a few months I'll add pure maple syrup and honey, the rest of the fruits and raw milk and cheese back into the plan as well. And I have to say, I don't miss the junk! Having your body slap you upside and down again quickly gives perspective! There is no desire to eat in the old way (: Thank you Father!!!!!

So not only is God simplifying my environment, wardrobe, play time and work life, but I had no idea He would make such a dramatic and quick impact on simplifying my health by decluttering my thought life and kitchen pantry (: It's so good to be back!



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Week Nine Update

The majority of the work this week was dealing with paper. Piles and boxes of it. Things that should have been dealt with long ago, but were put in boxes, labeled and stored away to be organized and filed at a later date. While working through these papers an odd thing happened. I regressed emotionally. Has this ever happened to you?

It started with the items I found from 2007. That was the year my father passed away. I found cards and notes he had written me. I read through the planner used to keep track of all the things the doctor was saying, notes on questions to ask the nurses, info on the medicines he would need, the rehab instructions for when he returned home.

Then I came across cards from my grandmother (dad's mom). My father did not have a close relationship with his family and as a result neither did we. Whenever we were around them there was this "outsider" feeling that was very strong. My uncle, aunt and cousins were treated in much higher regard and the difference was very apparent. I didn't notice these differences until adulthood. It can throw you for a loop when you realize your childhood experiences were a little different than you imagined.

Next I found a journal from 14 years ago. At the time I was contemplating a career change and desperately wanting to connect with the creative side of myself. The writings described a young woman struggling with the hollow feelings of not knowing what to do next and the sadness of not being in her calling. This was interesting...because I'm exactly where that woman of 14 years ago was so craving to be.

The last thing that brought forth extreme emotion was the rough draft of a letter written to my Mother's mom. Grandmother was my heart and one of my best friends. Hearing her voice, holding her hand and sharing the desires of my heart with her is greatly missed. She had the beautiful ability to just be in a room and lighten the energy with her very presence. Grandmother was one of the few who saw the real me - she got me (: She was wise, gracious, fun, joyful...and I love her so.

It's interesting how God gives us the time we need to heal. Things that might have sent us over the edge years ago can later be looked at with an objective eye. Sometimes it's good to reflect on things that have long healed because we need to see how far we've come. We need to see how God has worked in our lives. That woven tapestry of many hurts, losses, joys, great expectations, they all make a complete work of art. If one thread was missing, the tapestry would not be the same.

So today, I am thankful for past hurts, dreams shattered only to be rebuilt, for new friends and old friends, and the new found inspirations that cause my spirit to soar. For all of these blessings have helped me to grow into the confident woman that I have become. If one thread was missing from this journey, I would not be the same...and the journey is getting more exciting by the day (:

So if there are papers and boxes and bins that are sitting in the dark corners of your home, bring them out in the light of day and go through them. You may be surprised at how far you've come on your own journey (:



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Celebrating The Festival of Colors - Holi

I feel so blessed to live in a city of many cultures. It's so neat to walk down the street and within a span of a few minutes hear more than 6 different languages spoken. Today was a reminder of that blessing. While out and about in my apartment complex I saw several of my neighbors from India and their friends celebrating The Festival of Colors and they included me in the process! So fun!!

Holi is a carefree festival to welcome in Spring and to celebrate the triumph of good over evil, letting go of inhibitions and embracing the beauty around. So lovely...much like what my journey is about this year and so fitting to be included in such an occasion. A little God wink there (:

The day is spent smearing colorful powders all over each other's faces, throwing colored water at each other, having parties, and dancing under water sprinklers. I love to experience the traditions of others and am so glad I was asked to join in on the celebrating!

What started out as an ordinary day, quickly blended into a colorful and eye opening awareness that my journey is not simple or bland. This day God helped me to focus on the beauty of another tradition...the beauty in the differences...the beauty of color...the beauty of getting messy and letting go of inhibitions...the beauty of loving others...the beauty of being me.



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The Art of Simple Business - The Amy Butler Way

As a business owner I am often attracted to other small businesses who have simplicity and creativity as the heart of their operating philosophy. Amy Butler is no exception.

I love how this husband and wife team have decided to slowly grow their company without the use of traditional funding sources. Watch their inspirational story and see if some of the things they've learned along the way might help you on your own business journey...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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